Wednesday, March 23, 2011

i've never liked the taste of crow, but baby i ate it....

have you ever had to make a decision in life and was like yes this is totally the right thing to do i won't regret this at all. and even over the next few weeks you are still like i'm glad i chose that, i wouldn't change it at all. but as more and more time goes by you start to wonder why in the world you made that decision in the first place?
for me this seems to happen about every other week. i'm a big believer that things happen for a reason and you learn from your mistakes and all that feel good comforting blahblahblah, but sometimes i want to smack my past self in the head and ask what in the world are you doing?! seems like that has really been on my mind today....just different things i kinda wish i could go back and change. in a way i'm happy i made those decisions because i have some *amazing* people in my life and really don't know what would happen if i hadn't met them....or where i would even be really if i had made the so called "right" decisions....and at the end of the day i'm a child of God and thats All that matters at all. but i really do wonder sometimes what if i had done this or that? would i be more content or just happy in life?
it kinda started with some recent happenings i would Really like to change if i could...which could possibly be fixed without some type of time reversal but i don't really know if i should mess with it or not....anyway those thoughts kinda started this whole thinking process. then i made the brilliant move of going thru my outbox and reading old stuff...which in turn made me remember past decisions i wish i could renig.
sometimes i realllyyy miss the old days.
i don't wanna miss you
i don't wanna have to regret you
i don't wanna ask myself why
i don't wanna feel like i'm somehow doing something wrong
and i really really don't want to wonder what is going on in that dumb little head of yours
i don't want you to be unhappy, i just wanna move on and be happy too.
pretty simple request right?
i feel like this post kinda turned more diary entry than blog, but if you were interested enough to actually sit there and read thru it all, it makes me love you a little bit more. till tomorrows challenge, lots of love to you guys.


  1. I love you so much and totally get what you mean on some of those things. Especially the "i don't want you to be unhappy, i just wanna move on and be happy too." thing. I've had the exact same thought for a long time now. I feel like things are about to change for both of us (for the better)...our time will come!!! (:

  2. So Queen B I sit here & read through your whole blog, and I think it made alot of sense, so many times I've had those thoughts, and than Sam came along and he is wonderful but know that everything will work out just fine & that I am always here!!!

  3. thanks guys....i know stuff will work out...eventually lol. just ready to wake up and that happen lol.